BTW.... side note, yesterday's post was number 300 for Missy's Moments. Thought that was kind of cool.
You know I'm not always the greatest at accurately articulating just what it is that I'm trying to say. So I'll just see what happens here.
What got me reading blogs way back when was actually a little babe who entered the world at 22 weeks 6 days. I started reading a caringbridge site and from theirs linked to others and so on and so on and so forth. So now six years later I have not only have had a regular blog now for a couple of years but have developed pretty significant relationships with other women, friends and all through blog writing and community. Most of the blogs I read are either people I know or blogs that I've read for years and there is just a handful of them. There are a few authors whose blogs I enjoy and every now and again I pick up on a news blog but quite honestly there are very few political or news blogs that I enjoy, they seem so harsh and icky so I stay away from them. (my opinion) My heart is pulled towards real life matters, matters of the heart, matters that make it real (see a trend starting here?). Anyway awhile back Kristi talked about a woman whose blog she had come across- the blog was written by a woman and her husband had just recently passed away unexpectedly. This woman was lost to say the least and in reading her blog a couple of times she linked me to another blog that of a young couple. The man's wife was on bed rest during her pregnancy and ended up delivering early. The baby is good, She's healthy and growing but his wife the day after giving birth stood up to go meet their new baby daughter and fell and died from a pulmonary embolism. I've read blogs where babies are lost, loved ones are sick and I can't imagine that being my life. How do you get through those things? How does Christmas feel when someone you love is no longer here physically. How about all those other days of the year. Why hasn't it been us? And do I really GET how blessed our family is?
I read a post on my friend Doni's blog earlier today and it just re-affirmed what's been on my heart and that is being more intentional in my relationships with others. And those relationships don't need to be ongoing but they need to count no matter how long someone has been put into my journey. I am blessed, I am Loved and I need to live my life reflecting that, I want to live my life reflecting love, the love of Christ.
The other night the Women's Ministry Council at CCC served dinner at The Dorthy Day house here in Rochester. It is a temporary home for the homeless and disadvantaged. I have to be honest I walked in there fully expecting to see the older man on the corner with the signs. I was not emotionally prepared for the guests I shared dinner with. It was a mom expecting a baby, her other two children with her were 11 and 13. The 13 year old reminded me so much of Kayla, she was at dinner with her nose stuck in a book. The woman had two other daughters, one was away at college and the other was at gymnastics. I couldn't help but be given the impression that no matter what the roof was or wasn't over their head she was going to point her children in the right directions. I was impressed by her, I guess more accurately I was moved by her.
I've been thinking what am I really doing? Now don't get me wrong I'm sure I'll be among the many enjoying a warm Christmas dinner, opening presents and enjoying family on December 25th but is that what I want to grow old and remember? Is the big highlight going to be hitting the sales the day after Christmas and Thanksgiving? I am embarrassed at how self absorbed that makes me feel but will I step out of my box? I can't honestly answer that right now.
Anyway those are the thoughts that I've been really thinking about.
Oh I know.... I was going to say this guy that lost his wife this year. I read his blog on a regular basis. I began to ask myself why I was reading it. We have nothing in common- there are a few things here and there that make me go mmmmm, --I don't know where he is faith wise and well frankly he's not shy about his language. That doesn't offend me so much as it maybe it should but regardless I figured out what it is about this blog that attracts me and that is he is real, he just lays it out there and for the most part without tearing down those around him that may feel or think differently. He's also taken what has been the greatest tragedy of his life and used it for good. He's raising money for women and children that are abused, abandoned or neglected. Here this man is forced into being a single parent and has decided to take 'his lot' in life and use it for others.... wow.
So how does it all tie together.... what will it take in my life? Those questions are scary ones to ask because I'm not quite sure I want the answer. Am I giving enough, am I being called to do more? Maybe my calling right now is exactly what it is that I'm doing, if that's so why so I feel like it's not enough?
Pretty sure I won't get any of those answers today but I think about these things do you?
Recent Comments