Missy's Moments

Remember Jonah?

I love my job.

I have often said that I think those sweet kiddos teach me much more than I could ever teach them.

I find myself sometimes thinking to myself "Do you hear what you are saying?"

Today was yet another one of those days.

Their was a child having a little to much fun with his buddy that he/she sits next too. It does happen. Shocking I know. Even more shocking is that I sometimes have to rearrange the seating to "help" them be better listeners. Well today after helping a friend I got "the look". Most the kids have turned four or are very close and well they getting less shy about letting Mrs. Eagen know when they are not so happy.

I felt it was a good time to talk about what we learned from Jonah. Not sure why as we learned about Jonah last fall but I felt lead so I went with it. Amazing the recall they had- what fun it was to re-learn such a good lesson.

God told Jonah to go to Nineveh.

Jonah didn't want to.

Jonah decided to head the other way to Tarshish.

Well after realizing (both Jonah and his travel companions) that God was not exactly amused about his choice to be disobedient Jonah took a dive overboard.

Well we all know the story- the "huge fish was provided" (vs. 7) and down the hatch Jonah went.

So I ask the kids "What do you suppose it was like in the belly of that whale?"

wet

cold

stinky

dark

.... guessing a Super 8 was looking pretty snazzy at this point for poor Jonah (OK so I leave that part out)

UNCOMFORTABLE....

what do you do when things are tuff or there is times of trouble or you don't exactly like the place where you are.... you do just as Jonah did. You Pray. I know I do.

Now granted when I'm talking to the 3 year olds about it the words are different. But trust me when I say the message is the same.

"Boys and Girls- Jonah was not comfortable in that smelly, dark, wet, cold belly of the fish but was Jonah safe?" .... yes

"Who keeps Jonah safe and loved him even when he was disobedient?" .... God

"Did God forgive Jonah and give Jonah another chance"..... yes

Don't we all have Jonah moments? I know I do.

I have big one and small ones. Some that weigh me down much to long and some that should weigh me down a little longer.....

but even after I feel like I've been puked onto a beach after a little self will run riot I know that God loves me. I know that I can go to Ninevah afterward. I know that I am a child of God and the way he keeps me safe and shows His love isn't always the most comfortable or the most desirable of situations but it sure does get the job done.

 

Yes-sometimes Mrs. Eagen needs "help" in being a better listener.

40 Days til…

I turn 40. Not thinking about this for any particular reason. I’m not freaking out about it. I’m not overly excited about it. I’m not convinced I’m one step closer to having a foot in the grave. I ‘m not old, I don’t feel “middle aged” As with a lot of other things in my life I just feel it is what it is.

I thought it would be fun to try to blog about some of the past 40 years. I feel as if 40 should at least entitle me to enter the “maybe she knows something” category.

I sat here this morning drinking my coffee…. well honestly grabbing it for dear life as I do most mornings. I was browsing Facebook, thinking about my to do list and I glanced up to see that the sky out my windows turned this amazing shade of pink. I shut my laptop and just sat. Perfectly still. Knowing enough to know that the sky only stays that shade of pink for a few minutes while the sun is just in the right spot of the skyline. As I looked out my window I could hear my furnace running, my husband in the shower getting ready for work, I know my youngest sons are down sleeping enjoying their first day of break. I have no lesson plans to review today and I get to go to the doctor with my VERY pregnant daughter this morning. I have moments of struggle with the “what if’s” but it’s in moments like this I know God’s got this. He’s good. Thankfulness.

 

The picture below is one of my favorites. Today it made me laugh because our Pastor has a lot more hair in this picture then He does today. But I look at this picture and I know that Pastor Paul is asking me “Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God and that he died for your sins?” and I without doubt answered YES.

It is incredible to me that God knew that very same thing yet allowed Jesus as a helpless babe to enter the world all those years ago.

I am Thankful.

 

My Wondering Mind

I'm sitting here this morning drinking my coffee  with some random thoughts. Thoughts that I really don't need to give brain space to.

I've been sleeping awful this week. That never helps anything. In fact I'm not even sure if it's really safe to be blogging right now because you just never really know what may come out.

Here's how it goes- I go to sleep- I have some bizarre dream- I wake- look at my phone for a missed call (yes at 2am) and then attempt to go back to sleep. Some nights I do this 4 or 5 times. The missed call you think? Who could possibly call in the middle of the night?

Well these calls tend to be the tragic ones, ones with bad news, accidents etc....

Now granted this could happen. To ANYONE: What makes me entertain those thoughts... trust and truth - both of which I lack in when my mind is wondering.

I have been walked, pulled from, crawled out of, prayed through so much and yet daily I struggle with placing those I love (where they are anyway) in the loving arms of God. God has shown me over and over again His faithfulness and yet my unfaith creeps up so quickly sometimes I am taken off guard by it.

So trust: I read the story of Abraham this morning- only with a divided heart. How could God really ask that of Abraham?  He asked him to sacrifice his only son... as I read and wondered how hard that must have been for Abraham and truthfully doubted my own obedience if handed that same scenario.... could you?

Just being honest and yet...

God himself knows more about sacrifice than we will ever know. His son died because of things like my doubt. Ouch. How do I doubt that?

He proved His trustworthyness on that cross. He didn't have to but that act of love should leave no doubts in my mind. There's many things that God does not need to show and yet he does..... daily. He loves me, he loves those around me and will not lead me or them anywhere that he won't be. That is where truth comes in.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Phil 4:8

really does make sense if you ask me.

So Far This Year...

I can say that I've managed to stay somewhat on top of things. I obsess constantly over the to-do list and always feel like I'm a day late and a dollar short. There's never room for error and trust me error happens quite regularly in the Eagen household!

Part of not playing catch up all the time is this blog... this is it folks, it's either do or die, so hopefully I do.  The boys are a bit past cute little daily stories, life is pretty boring, Kayla and Jordan would rather lick a metal door in the dead of winter than to have their mother write about them. That doesn't leave much for material and the keyboard tends to have the backspace button overused for fear I may bore you to tears.

So far 2011 has brought about a great Wild Game that Rick and I bought   Santa left tickets to. Great game- the score went back and forth and in the end we won in overtime. Of course if it would have went the other way I may not being saying what a great game it was but hey they won and we were happy so I will leave it at that :)

I am co-hosting a bible study in the evening and we started a new one last week. The group grew a bit after the New Year and I am so excited to see what God has to teach us in this study. It's entitled Me, Myself and Lies by Jennifer Rothschild. Jennifer Rothschild spoke in the intro video last week about our thoughts and how constant they are, some are just normal everyday thoughts like for me one would be "coffee, oh coffee how I love thee" or "child why are you using your cheese stick as a weapon" you know those kind of thoughts... anyway I have spent more time thinking about what I think about this last week. The thoughts that we will focus on are those "wow that was stupid" or "oh I look like a puffy, gray haired almost 40 year old"... you know those not so great for you thoughts that God never intended us to say to anyone let alone ourselves. So a thought closet makeover is the first thing on the list for 2011. With some luck I'll have more success than I have with other makeovers! (oops that wasn't a good thought!)

I just finished two great books by Francine Rivers- My Mothers Hope and My Daughters Dream.  At the end of My Daughters Dream I had to go back and re-read the last chapter just simply because I didn't want it to be done. What a beautiful story of grace, redemption, hope and love. The story starts out in the early 1900's in the first book and ends in current years in the second book. Both books are the story of a mother and daughter and the second story I related so much to the main character Carolyn.   I have often said Redeeming Love is one of my favorite books and these two together ranked right up there. Next on the reading list is The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller.

I am teaching a lesson this week in AWANA and I have a to-do list longer than my arm for the evening so time to stop babbling here and get on with things. (did I mention I'm trying to stay on top of that pesky to-do list?)

Last weeks favorite preschool funny: As a boy sticks his finger in his eye he looks up from his spot in the rainbow shape (circle time renamed) and says "hey there's 2 of you!"

 

Celebrating and Catching Up

Or should I say waking up- coming up for air- some days just sucking it up- wondering if I should cover it up or when sanity reminds me again to simply keep my eyes up.

I believe I set a blog record for not writing, recording,  or sharing.  I guess it's a record that I didn't intend to set but the deed is done. It's been since August and really that makes sense. Life becomes a whirlwind when school starts back up but there have been so many great things to celebrate and in a season where celebrations are focused on life's most precious gift I'm reminded that I don't want to wait to share in a one yearly wrap up about the happenings or lessons being learned in the Eagen house. God doesn't intend for us to neatly wrap up life and tuck it away as a keep sake but yet He came so that we may live life and live more abundantly (John 10:10). My lesson for this has come in the mist of what has been another painful season. One that maybe someday I can share without comprising the integrity of others or even myself but nonetheless I feel like the Lord has taken my pain to show me how much He desires my love and how much there is to celebrate, to breath in and let out to allow Him to be in what He already has His hand on.

Today is the first day of December 2009. Today I will simply celebrate. I would love to tell you great things about our family and the happenings and I will get back there but today is a day to celebrate, to look for reminders in the little things that make my life big, the moments at the beginning, middle and end of my day that are gifted to me. Am I tucking those gifts away or am I using them? What have you been given today? Celebrate it my friends just simply celebrate....

Women of Faith 2008

In the middle of October I was blessed to be able to share with 24 other women a trip to St. Paul to Women of Faith Infinite Grace conference. We also attended the pre-conference with Patsy Clairmont, Anita Renfroe, and Jan Silvious. What a gift these women have shared with us in just a brief 48 hour time period. I try to take notes and pray that certain words, quotes, emotions will stick but I seem to be left in a bit of a spiritual haze coming home. There's so much to take in and I just trust that I will hear or be reminded of things on a as needed basis in the days to come.

In going over my notes from Patsy speaking during the pre-conference I was reminded of some very basic facts that I really must tattoo somewhere on my body. She talked about emotions and used a big tangled up mess of rubber bands to help us visualize our emotions. How we tend to walk around with them and at any given moment can decide to take them out and share them with others. I'm not sure about you but that can be a dangerous place for me to be. Patsy so graciously reminded me that emotions don't have brains, they don't think- they feel. Then shortly after that I heard like a blow horn coming at me. "Emotions change, truth doesn't" What a relieve to know that God's plan for me doesn't run on emotion but by the Grace that He has so freely given.

Another note I wrote down and I heard it from Deanne the other night at bible study was "Do what you can do and trust God with the rest"Jan Silvious was referring to situations when we are just kind of stuck... for me this really resonated with our situation with Jordan. I really don't know what to do or how to feel most days. I never dreamed that I would have a child that would struggle as much or as deeply as he has and I think what has been harder is knowing that as his mother I can't help him right now. I can love him even when that means loving him despite the choices he is making because after all would our Heavenly Parent ever place a limit on that love? I may not know what that always looks like but we keep doing what we can do and trusting God with the rest. You don't ever imagine when watching your child grow up that their journey may have nothing to do with yours someday. Meaning that the lesson might just be Jordan's and not mine. Honestly I'm really not sure but I needed to be reminded of that truth.

The music is always one of my favorite parts and this year I was moved to tears more times than I care to count. Nicole C. Mullen shined His light in her words, her actions, with the kids that joined her on stage but when she was done performing the applause was incredible, loud and long, the women in there were showing their gratitude and Nicole C. Mullen looked down with tears on her face got down on her knees and pointed upward.... Her humility touched me beyond what I can put into words. Sandi Patty spoke and sang and as always I could listen to her all day long, what a gift she has been given. Mandisa was also there and she stepped into a little R and B retro by singing some Tina Turner, Whitney Houston (I'm Every Woman and I'll Always Love You), Aretha Franklin and others. I think I broke a sweat dancin! What a blast we had!

 

(above- Mandisa)

Join us next year... Deanne and I already have your tickets reserved. A Grand New Day is the theme and Steven Curtis Chapman will be joining Women of Faith.  

Anita Refroe as usual was hilarious. You may remember last year I had her MOMSENSE Video on here, well here is the follow up to that so that the many Dad's out there don't feel left out  :) Enjoy

Good Friday

Well it really was a good Friday in more ways than one. I love that a friend pointed out that Rochester shouldn't have  had school today in honor of  Good Friday and since the school board didn't seem to get that done God did and dumped a whole bunch of snow on us canceling schools today! I actually had the day off anyway but it was a treat to have a day with both little guys. With my job that doesn't happen nearly enough.

I spent most of the morning getting a jump start on the cleaning and then the afternoon on my couch with a cup of coffee in hand chatting with my BFF.

Rick came home and we ate a quick dinner and then headed off to church. Sam and Eric sat really well during service. We stopped at Culver's on the way home for some frozen custard and saw a bunch of CCC friends there. It was a lot of fun.

I have much to catch up on. Last weekend was fun and we took LOTS of pictures. I swear (ok maybe not swear) but I promise I will TRY hard to get off the bad blogger list :)

Heard this tonight at church... what a precious song. Have a blessed Easter weekend-

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame;
And I love that old cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain.

O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary.

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
A wondrous beauty I see,
For 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
To pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;
Its shame and reproach gladly bear;
Then He'll call me some day to my home far away,
Where His glory forever I'll share.

So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.

Prayer For Nana

Will you please keep Nana in your prayers.... her daughter is very dear to me

A Friend In High Places

Week of January 25, 2008 A Friend in High Places by Max Lucado God has put all things under the authority of Christ. (Eph. 1:22) Christ is running the show. Right now. A leaf just fell from a tree in the Alps. Christ caused it to do so. A newborn baby in India inhaled for the first time. Jesus measured the breath. The migration of the belugas through the oceans? Christ dictates their itinerary. He is the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. (Col. 1:15--16) What a phenomenal list! Heavens and earth. Visible and invisible. Thrones, dominions, rulers, and authorities. No thing, place, or person omitted. The scale on the sea urchin. The hair on the elephant hide. The hurricane that wrecks the coast, the rain that nourishes the desert, the infant's first heartbeat, the elderly person's final breath--all can be traced back to the hand of Christ, the firstborn of creation. Firstborn in Paul's vernacular has nothing to do with birth order. Firstborn refers to order of rank. As one translation states: "He ranks higher than everything that has been made" (v. 15) Everything? Find an exception. Peter's mother-in-law has a fever; Jesus rebukes it. A tax needs to be paid; Jesus pays it by sending first a coin and then a fisherman's hook into the mouth of a fish. When five thousand stomachs growl, Jesus renders a boy's basket a bottomless buffet. Jesus exudes authority. He bats an eyelash, and nature jumps. No one argues when, at the end of his earthly life, the God-man declares, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth" (Matt. 28:18). The Christ of the galaxies is the Christ of your Mondays. The Starmaker manages your travel schedule. Relax. You have a friend in high places. Does the child of Arnold Schwarzenegger worry about tight pickle-jar lids? Does the son of Nike founder Phil Knight sweat a broken shoestring? If the daughter of Bill Gates can't turn on her computer, does she panic? No. Nor should you. From Next Door Savior Available in Hardback or Paperback Copyright (W Publishing Group, 2003) Max Lucado

Today (Monday) there is a lot going on. The unusual schedule is out of order and I woke up this morning feeling a bit anxious. I have been having these awful dreams lately.... fears come to life when I close my eyes and it's getting a bit nerve racking. They are different things to, causing insecurity, fear, worry but also causing me to be in prayer even before I lift my head from my pillow. Anyway the above devotion came on Friday. They normally do but I just had a chance to sit down and read it. Today I will NOT be caught up in fear or worry but know with all that He's got this.... and without my help

2008- Part 1

Been pondering the 2008 post for a bit now. It just wasn't coming to me what exactly was going was going to be my New Year's goal. I have a few on going items that I want to work on and have actually started writing down my projects on 3x5 cards so I can write down progress I make. I'm not a long term results gal, I prefer to see the fruits of my labor fast so that has helped with with working towards some longer term goals. There are a few things I would like to cross of my list for next year the main one being living healthy. Taking care of the one and only body I'll be graced with here on earth . I love to be a better housekeeper but the reality is I'm not that bad, every once in a while I consider moving the dressers into the laundry room but if Rick and the kids get sick of the trip down there they'll put their own clothes away. And REALLY shouldn't they anyway

Wednesdays at work during our prayer meeting a member of the staff does a devotional. As this co-worker of mine was reading about her New Year's Resolutions I felt as if it was being read directly to me. It reminded me of thoughts that have circled my brain again regarding living intentional. A friend of mine posted some really good reading on living an intentional  and a thoughtful life last year and it always just stuck with me. I've been thinking about those things daily, finding myself questioning different areas. Am I using my time wisely? Am I serving in the area that God gifted me. What about school, am I content with what I am doing, could I do it better with an a better education. Is Kayla prepared for graduation NEXT year.... Where is Sam going to school next year and why? Being a mom I've found that I'm so concerned with the everyday needs and wants of the kids I seem to have lost track or maybe even never had the big picture in mind. I seemed to have been sucked into this vacuum of busyness and I'm not even sure how it happened.

So like my co-worker this year won't be about what I'm going to do, what new project or goal I'm going to add but about what I'm not going to do.

1. Busyness- 2 summers ago after serving in MOPS for the second year I promised myself and my family I would make no commitments for the summer. Weekends tend to fill up anyway and I would not add to it and certainly keep things flexible. We literally played all summer. I spent a lot of time in my house working on scrap booking, decuttering etc. I've never been a great meal planner but I think I started to get better. Removing the busyness from our home really helped all of us grow closer. Kayla and Jordan knew I was here (even though they weren't!) It was just really nice. I remember being very sad that year about summer ending. Every part of it was such a joy. Currently I don't have a lot of outside commitments but I am also working 40 hours again which is new for me and our family. I was looking at my calender and this month is already busy. I've said yes to just a couple of things and all of a sudden not only am I feeling the pressures but I'm sure my family does to. My mind starts to tell me the things that are important are not so important. It's OK to sleep in- your busy and tired. I'll get by bible study done later-I'm tired, you know I'm busy. Mommy we never made the gingerbread house- I know hunny we've just been busy...... ouch, how am I to busy to make a gingerbread house with my 5 year old. So I'm going to get through the rest of this month knowing that there is an end coming. I work 40 hours outside the home, my other time needs to be inside the home. I don't want to be to busy that I push the things that matter to me aside. In 2008 I will NOT allow myself to be to busy for God, my family or my health.

Matthew 6:19-21  "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also