birth story (from Grandma’s view)

 Walking through Kayla’s pregnancy with her has been by far one of my greatest journeys filled with great joy, great unknowns, great anxiety and fear, unbelievable excitement, a journey of trust … in deed bringing 2011 to an end by welcoming Jack is a gift to be treasured.

Holy moly you say- women have babies everyday- this is not some great mystery or weird medical condition- why all the emotion- why all the mushy blah blah blah…. does grandma missy need to get a grib…. well maybe, maybe not. I’m OK with mush so here goes it- the story.

**if you’re a guy who gets weirded out by TMI then STOP here - considered yourself warned- it’s a birth story.

(back story)

On August 4th when Kayla was just under 20 weeks pregnant. Well into the 2nd trimester I received a call from Kayla- she was sobbing and bleeding. The kind of bleeding they tell you isn’t good. I left work frantic, scared for my girl. No parent can imagine the pain of losing a child but on my way to pick her up I begged God  …. I mean I BEGGED and pleaded for Her and for my grandson. I was so scared of the unknown reality that Kayla might be facing.

(and yes we already knew that he was a boy)

Well the doctors and nurses were wonderful and wasted not one minute getting an ultrasound machine in the room and within minutes there was the sight of that flashing that was Jack’s heartbeat. I just remember choking a sob of relief and I think from that moment forward lifting Jack and Kayla to the Lord and knowing that I had to trust just as i had to breath …. I just had to and I did. Giving that worry and fear to God over and over and over again gave me glimpses of the joy that this baby was going to bring to our family. I must confess it was a struggle not to loose myself in the what if’s but I knew I had to keep pointing Kayla toward that same trust. I rested in Psalm 139 so often and it brought comfort to know that Jack was not unknown to God.

So I’ll fast forward through all the preparations, the bed-rest, the risk of early delivery from 26 weeks, the baby shower, the pre-natal classes and the wait……. there was not a lack of dull moments but Kayla rolled with it- she did great. She started growing into her roll as Mom from the beginning of her pregnancy.

(the rest of the story)

On Tuesday Dec. 27th (her due date) Kayla woke up contracting, sick, unable to keep anything down. I blogged about it it that day. Later that day she slept a lot- largely because of the  zofran an anti-nausea med they gave her when I brought her in. Thinking back I think she was contracting because of the nausea and vomiting (flu) and that the nausea and vomiting was not because of the contractions.

Wednesday (the 28th) she went to work and had irregular contractions but nothing to write home about.

Thursday (the 29th)  Kayla called me and said her back hurt but it was constant. Not come and go like contractions are described.  She mentioned she “thought” she was having contractions but couldn’t tell through the back pain that didn’t go away. She was at work and was not going to leave or go in until that boy was coming out and none of us were really convinced that this was labor anyway. She was 2 days overdue and after thinking he’d come early we figured we’d end up waiting till the inducement date (10 days over).

She kept me updated all day- possible contractions, constant back pain. My 4 labors weren’t like this and what she described didn’t convince me or her it was labor but we decided when she got off work we’d go do laps at the mall and see if that gave us clearer answers.

7ish- we arrived at the mall. I hesitated bringing bags with us for fear of “jinxing” labor.

I sent my friend a text  (not sure if I told Kayla this) and said “I’m bringing her to the mall to walk and we’re not stopping till she’s in pain and begging me to stop”

I was feeling a little ruthless (in a loving way) and I knew walking would only help things if it truly was labor.

Well Grandma needed chap stick  so bath and body works called my name, then it was The Gap, Herberger's, Penney’s, Gymboree, basically any place with a baby section… we’d walk… we’d stop… Kayla would catch her breath grab her back and I’d say “let’s keep going”.

Well by 9pm I was convinced but Kayla was still walking and talking through contractions and the nurses told us not to come until she could no longer walk or talk through them. Now granted her walking and talking slowed or even paused but yet she wasn’t  the out of control crazy woman in labor  that I was waiting for to emerge- but it was worth a shot…. I told her to call the nurses and let them know we were coming in.

I told her- “don’t talk through the contractions – make it believable”  yep I said that. I think I had the crazed labor brain and I was on mission baby jack.

my mission was clear and I’m not one to waiver (that’s only 1/2 true)  So in we went- I even snapped a picture to which Kayla said-

“mom if they send me home it’s your fault for taking the picture”

hehehe we BOTH  were a little crazed.

notice she’s holding her back… ouch

 

so around 9:20ish we got into a room (purgatory- not quite a labor room) and they hooked her up to the monitors. I have to admit when I saw the contraction number shoot up to 120ish I was like “cool- those numbers hurt- we’re in like flynn” of course I didn’t say that out loud I just told Kayla to breath and now that she was in a bed that back labor was indeed stopping any walking or talking.

A first year resident came in and checked her. (I only add that fact b/c of where we are going with this). She was at 2cm and according to her most likely not ready to stay and that “they could give her some morphine to make her more comfortable”

*I may have panicked at this moment   but I waited for the nurse to come back in (you know the one who knows what’s really going on)

So I ask the nurse “so if they give her morphine do they just watch her and see if she progresses?”

The nurse who I liked up to this point says “no we’ll give it to her and then send you guys home until she’s further along in her labor”

 ummmm excuse me? I can’t bring my drugged up laboring daughter out of here- one of us is bound to loose it and I’m not sure at this point which one it will be.

Ok I didn’t say that but I wanted to- my face most likely said it for me.

I did tell the nurse my “concerns” and during my conversation with the nurse Kayla interrupted to say she thought she felt more of her mucus plug (her concern was the mess)  to which the nurse simply said “your ok there’s a pad over the sheet”.  I mean let’s face it- there’s some weird stuff going on down there especially at the end of pregnancy.

So after the nurse and I promptly IGNORED Kayla and her concerns about the mess, we continued our conversation my pleading about why we should just stay. Kayla even had some good arguments in the mist of her contractions which seemed to be getting worse.

At that point the chief resident came in (and I was sure she was smarter than the 1st year resident) but she had  the same song and dance as Dr. 1 year.

I guess it doesn’t matter how old your child is because even  though Kayla is a grown adult  who was about to give birth my mama bear kicked in and I began the first stage of the fight-

well Kayla had a WHOPPER of a contraction and I didn’t know if it was so much the contraction that caused the “out of control crazy woman in labor effect ” or the idea of getting sent home but regardless I paused from my fight to try to talk her through it.

The doc agreed to check her (we wanted a second opinion) and then check her again in a hour and if progress was made we could stay. I told Kayla- we’ll just walk another hour. That was all it took with Eric to keep me so I was sure we could do this.

Poor Kayla was contracting one after another….

Doctor Chief Resident went to check her and before she was all the way “there” she just  simply said “well she’s ruptured- that’s your ticket in”

I just cried (I do that when I feel stress)  I said “honey your going to do this…. your going to meet your baby” what a sweet moment that was (at least for me- can’t say Kayla was to terribly excited at this point in the labor process as I’m sure she felt as if her insides were exploding)

Well my new best friend (the chief resident)  that discovered her water was broke asked “will you be interested in an epidural for pain”

I quickly (and with enthusiasm) yelled “YES”  forgetting they weren’t asking me….opps

Thankfully Kayla was interested too…

Kayla did great- as soon as she knew Dr. Happy was on his way with numbing stuff she focused on just getting through one contraction at a time. The poor girl felt as if her hips were falling apart and she’d ask me to do the “hip squeeze” that we learned in class.

this is not us but this is what it looks like-

My arms would shake from squeezing so tight and it seemed to be the only thing that helped her. Selfishly I can’t imagine having to do that all night and I say Kudos to those of you that have or can! WOW

I remember Kayla saying yes please and no thank you to the doctors and nurses that were prepping her for the epidural. I proudly thought “yep that’s my girl- good manners” LOL

Well a hour later and 2 more centimeters dilated Kayla was comfortable and it was just a matter of her body doing what it was supposed to do while the medicine Dr. Happy gave her kept her from feeling any of it. Kayla’s best friend from jr. high was there and decided to take a little snooze but before we all tucked ourselves in for the night (it was about 11pm) we snapped a couple of pictures…

Marquia  came to visit briefly and cheer Kayla on..(Bobbie, Marquia and Kayla)

As a side note: Marquia had a baby in September and when I found out she was pregnant I teased her mom a bit…. “Your going to be Grandma Kate…. hehehe “ Kate was very gracious just a month or two later when I got the same news….

waiting…..

well while we waited I could not sleep- I wanted to remember those moments. So I grabbed some paper and a pen and just started to write.

Around 3am Bobbie (her friend- I clarify b/c my mom is also Bobbie) was sleeping, the room was dark, the doc had just checked Kayla and she was close- dilated to a 8. I sat in the chair next to my daughter, all the while just marveling at the sound of Jack’s heartbeat in the room. That’s all we heard and it just kept beating strong and sure and I Praised God- Thanked Him for carrying them through to this moment. It was such a peaceful sound and the feeling of complete joy filled me from head to toe. I wrote-

“here I am with my first born- I remember so clearly holding her and looking at her tiny face when they laid her in my arms for the first time. There was not many things I was sure of at time but I was sure that for the first time I felt like I had done something right, I was in complete awe that  precious little baby had grown inside of me and now I was about to watch her experience the birth of her first born. There is not a way to put words to what I am feeling at this moment I just know that this is a gift and once again I am awed at the Greatness of our Creator and the different paths that led us to this day and I pray this memory will stay imbedded in my head just as it stayed the day I had her.”

Shortly after I wrote that Kayla started feeling pressure, I called for the nurse and they had the doc come in to check her. Jack was already on his way down It was just a bit before 4am and they said on the next contraction she could push.

Poor Kayla- here she is- pushing and the nurse (who I LOVED) kept praising Kayla telling her she was doing great and I looked over and said “she gets it from me”….it was funny. Inappropriate but funny.

Just 28 minutes later Jack Brandon Gustafson entered the world-

Travis meeting Jack for the first time….

This Grandma gig…. yep I think it’s workin for me (and I think Rick may be diggin it a bit to )

stay tuned- I have a feeling I may give Jack and Kayla updates once in a while….

Comments

[Susie]

What a journey!! SO happy that everything worked out and everyone is now at peace with this precious bundle of joy!! You are a great mother in love and support and I know your daughter will never forget the moments you give her.